:)

2009-03-22T02:47:00.000+08:00

I was born to tell you I love you.

and so i will breath my last, loving you.

2009-02-23T22:59:00.000+08:00

i rather be lost my whole life than lose you for even one whole minute.

<3

2009-02-17T20:05:00.003+08:00

I guess there's a price for happiness. Just having spent one of the happiest day; today was the worst bookout day of my army life.

quarrells, computer down, total boredom. it all felt so meaningless.

2008-10-27T21:35:00.001+08:00

3 hrs of talking crap! :D

2008-10-02T19:17:00.001+08:00

feels like i'm in complete darkness. scared. lost.

luckily there's you by my side. :)

2008-09-22T00:06:00.000+08:00

really enjoyed these days. if only there is 1 block leave every 3 mths...

you think missing me is hard? you should try missing you.

2008-09-12T14:42:00.002+08:00

you think missing me is hard? you should try missing you.

wahaha! <3

2008-09-10T20:35:00.002+08:00

POP LO! :D
THANK YOU BUN & MAMA BUN FOR COMING ALL THE WAY TO TEKONG. :)

i am smelly.
and i ate alot for dinner. whoo!

2008-09-07T17:57:00.000+08:00

Went to the House of Dom today! :D

2008-08-03T14:43:00.002+08:00

But I don't care what they say,
I'm in love with you.

wahaha.

2008-07-21T11:20:00.001+08:00

the only thing and everything that keeps me going.

i'm scared.

2008-07-06T09:15:00.002+08:00

the only thing that keeps me going.

2008-06-12T03:08:00.003+08:00

1 last day.

all i hope for is this sleep to be long enough for this dream to last.

2008-05-19T11:59:00.000+08:00

2008-05-08T01:49:00.001+08:00

"If I was a flower growing wild and free
All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen
All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves."

2008-04-19T22:03:00.004+08:00

woot change of template! no more emo boy picture at the top!

2008-04-14T01:17:00.004+08:00

"In a dream
will you give your love to me,
beg my broken heart to beat,
save my life,
change my mind.

then i'm not afraid to dream,
to sleep, sleep forever."

Evanescence - Cloud Nine lyrics

2008-04-12T20:22:00.003+08:00

last man standing!

2008-04-04T20:27:00.008+08:00

I am...

but...

there seems...

because words can't describe this.

2008-04-03T23:26:00.005+08:00

This sentence marks the start of a tale, which speaks of a princess whose grace would get her top notch marks in the subject called beauty. She was pale but yet it shone with such brightness that even the moon would shun away from in shame. But beautiful things aren't meant to be left unclaimed, they always tend to be the spark of bloodshed and pain. Therefore, we introduce the nefarious, grotesque, loathsome, stinking, fetid, perverted witch. She's the extreme in all negative aspects. She was extremely short, a height a 12 year old would sneer at and of course, we can't possibly leave out a puke-inducing arrogance.
Naturally, the story went on with the witch kidnapping the princess, so that she could have the beauty for herself. Thus, came a dashing prince with a powerful sword that 29 elephants couldn't lift. He rushed in into the castle and ...... killed ....... hand ....... happily .......

because endings are always so predictable..

2008-03-30T23:50:00.003+08:00

argh decision making.
it's days like this that makes me think that you were a dream.

2008-03-27T23:59:00.004+08:00

last minute of wishes! may happiness shine upon perpetually!

i'm really happy too. :)

2008-03-14T01:19:00.002+08:00

Life is like waiting for a bus. The one that you want to take just doesn't come.

2008-03-12T00:46:00.002+08:00

foggy paths and second tries.

assuage this pls.

2008-03-08T02:05:00.002+08:00

disappointments.

but at least... i'm happy for u. =)

2008-03-07T00:48:00.004+08:00

i'm not sure which one would be worse.

if only it had crimson flowing. maybe i could save millions with it.

2008-03-05T23:34:00.002+08:00

results! sianz. kinda worried that i'll do quite badly. but at least i kinda had control over it. tho i didnt really use that authority.

but not this.

2008-02-26T00:00:00.000+08:00

More heaven than a heart could hold.

Perhaps it's like using red ink to write an essay on a piece of crumpled paper, with all the full-stops forcibly changed into commas.

2008-02-25T00:31:00.003+08:00

watched L with the gang ytd. the movie was ok ba. except that the front part was seriously quite bull. had a long talk after that. was quite meaningful. haha. appreciated it!

oh man and i cant believe the way i lost the 3rd bet! haha but it was really funny!

sine qua non.

2008-02-21T23:30:00.001+08:00

"And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster"

Kelly Clarkson - Beautiful Disaster lyrics

2008-02-20T22:09:00.003+08:00

exploration! hahaha.

an exquisite extreme i know.

2008-02-18T22:40:00.003+08:00

working blindly, aimlessly.

突然觉得好空虚

it stayed on like the moon. unseen in the day and threatening to shine at night.

2008-02-18T00:26:00.002+08:00

jump jump jump!

oh man tmr is monday. time to look forward to friday again. sianz. mondays shldnt exist. then i will hate tuesdays. wahaha.

bittersweet.

2008-02-15T22:03:00.002+08:00

let it last for now.

2008-02-09T14:21:00.000+08:00

sick, down on luck plus disappointments. really, really sianz.

2008-02-08T03:08:00.000+08:00

intricacy.

it's my own, mere selfishness...

2008-02-07T00:57:00.000+08:00

the DOT seems to accumulate to surpass those that i've beared before.

sry...

2008-02-06T01:29:00.000+08:00

i've always failed to fathom.

if i were to fall...

2008-02-01T22:23:00.000+08:00

I can't seem to supress a tinge. Or perhaps a little more than that.
I'm always writing about me, and me. What if you were hurt as well... I can't bear the thought.

2008-01-31T23:55:00.000+08:00

can't wait for weekends. really need some time off work.

do we cry because the world might seem a better place through blurry sight?

2008-01-30T22:37:00.000+08:00

"有没有口罩一个给我
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药

看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕
没有理由我也能自己走

你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白"

Jay Chou - 彩虹 lyrics

perhaps i'll never let go.

或许能像星星; 白天时就算比不上太阳的明亮, 却依然发着光.

2008-01-28T22:22:00.000+08:00

?
其实我根本不敢面对

2008-01-26T22:37:00.000+08:00

i don't get it. it's nearing last yr's condition when i'm making efforts? to the extent that i can hardly differentiate anymore.

怎么总觉得像个跑步机, 再怎么努力都留在原地

2008-01-26T00:14:00.000+08:00

it's even more clear now. i will make preparations.

"Have to fight, cause I know in the end it's worthwhile, that the pain that I feel slowly fades away."

2008-01-24T23:44:00.000+08:00

took half day today. feels gd to not have work on a weekday afternoon. haha. but sianz. the prob is now i kinda lost my ability to tell if i'm hungry anot. so it's prob gonna keep worsening. but i believed i took steps to attempt to stop this. i'm quite sure it's gonna be lachrymose. but i have to, nolens volens.

anws eunice showed smth interesting.

Acidic food: Meat, grains, seafood, etc.
Alkaline food : Fruits, vegetables, algae, etc.

WHY ARE ALL ALKALINE FOOD VEGS? omg. so sad. then why am i having gastric? i didnt eat meat for like more than half of my life lor. -.-

i can't help but to be green. maybe someday i will learn to be a stoic.

2008-01-22T23:41:00.000+08:00

这是个和其他的文字一样;
以泪为荣, 冠上真爱之名的爱情故事.
只是书的厚度却异常地薄,
没有足够的页数,
让我写进你爱上我的那部分.

2008-01-21T22:37:00.000+08:00

labyrinth.

unforeseen impediment. now to wait for the next full moon?

2008-01-19T23:28:00.000+08:00

i thought i've decided. but turns out i still have no idea.

do we cry because we can't reach the moon in the sky?

2008-01-18T22:11:00.000+08:00

it was the worst i had in quite a long while. near excruciating. pls pls dont backtrack to the condition before. but this degree is really nth compared to...

P.S it's just gastric. juz in case ppl think i'm dying or smth. i'm fine... haha.

decision.

2008-01-16T22:33:00.000+08:00

最遥远的时间, 是此时刚过的那一秒, 再怎么短暂都已残酷地化为历史

green. sometimes i'm quite a coward.

2008-01-15T22:55:00.000+08:00

work was gd today cos it was only half day! muhaha. went for check up. doc says my lump, whatever it is called shld be ok alr. he used some equipment to check the fluid inside. then he says it shrank alr or smth. sianz guess im pes B. but guess what. my pes status need 2 mths to process. wah lao an alphabet need type so long? think im probably gonna enlist june.

SIANZ TMR GOT WORK! im so gonna say this everday except fris and sats. haha.

i really have no idea at all. of what to do, what to think.

2008-01-14T22:50:00.000+08:00

work is real tiring sia. wahh. or maybe im weak. im like dying alr. from one day of work lol. but half day tmr! cos of hospital appointment. sianz. hope tmr is my last appointment.

像雨点没有反抗地吸引力的勇气

2008-01-13T23:55:00.001+08:00

too deep.

guilty of what i asked u not to.

2008-01-13T03:20:00.000+08:00

woot. spent near 100 bucks on clothes today. clothes for work. -.- nvm im gonna get it back after 2 days of work! if i dun get sacked first, that is. i still cant adjust my slping time and im a day away from work. damn damn damn. im gonna force myself to wake up at 10 am tmr! so i will be dead tired thennn i will be able to fall aslp early! woot. great plan, isnt it?

"and in this short life,
there's no time to waste on giving up
my love wasn't enough"

Evanescence - Lacrymosa lyrics.

i didn't fall in love with sorrow even after spending so much time with it. So why would you...?

2008-01-12T05:41:00.000+08:00

这黑暗中的引导者
数传说中的主角
是狼人变形的原因
和嫦娥居于的土地
也适合让我了望
蕴酿想你的情绪

这月亮
像你, 在漆黑中的一道光
似希望, 但伴着的黑暗
却无情地占有天空一大半
这月亮
也类似于你的美丽
在人海中依然亮丽
但连它也永不及你

如果你是月亮
那么我是否是地球
再怎么靠近
都会隔着一层大气
叫我怎么抱紧你

couldn't slp. then suddenly had inspiration. muhaha..

2008-01-12T03:21:00.000+08:00

如果我们之间的距离有一千步
当你对我跨下第一步
剩余的九百九十九步
都交給我

chance upon this today. quite nice eh. makes me feel like writing. but sianz recenty no inspiration for chinese writing. haha. i got like zero inspiration today.

o im starting work next mon. sianzz. when im unemployed i complain abt no source of income. now im gonna complain abt being busy and tired. hahaha. im actually quite nervous abt it. wonder how's it gonna be like. but nvm it means money. muhaha.

sianz but need to dress formally. long sleeves and business pants. great. now i need to spend $ before i actually start work. wahaha. investment sia.

it always makes me wonder.

2008-01-11T02:22:00.000+08:00

Oh, you mindless creature.
Your ignorance does not allow
you to even speak of love.
I stay put to watch over this spark,
this beauty; even if it's never meant to be.
I bleed for a glimpse of light,
something not pertaining to you.
For this, I will remonstrate with you, devil.
No matter how lachrymose it's going to be.
I may be foolish but it's worth it.

这黑夜里的明亮
好像你那人海中依然突出的美

2008-01-10T03:00:00.000+08:00

You fool.
You lurk around the place
stained with your very own blood.
And you desire that that
led you to this decadence?
How foolish, mortal.
Denying by lying,
in the name of hope, of love.
Save yourself or behold,
the fiery flames of hell,
my pertinacious saint.

i can't see the end to this winding stairways. up or down?

2008-01-09T01:29:00.000+08:00

"Oh how I wish
For soothing rain
All I wish is to dream again
My loving heart
Lost in the dark
For hope I'd give my everything"

Nightwish - Nemo lyrics

2008-01-08T00:22:00.000+08:00

或许只是我固执的愚蠢未曾改变什么
或许一切早已记载, 我不是孙悟空
没有法力无边又如何改写生死簿?

或许始终从来没浮现在你脑海中
或许他早已出现, 我不是孙悟空
没有七十二变化成你心仪的脸孔

 或许只是我妄想的海市蜃楼
或许你从没回头我不是孙悟空
没有火眼金睛又怎么看得透这些迷惑

但就算如此就算再怎么软弱
我也会守候就算灵魂持续地堕落
因为是你教会我...

2008-01-07T22:22:00.000+08:00

THANK YOU EUNICE TAN FOR INTROING ME JOBS!!!

2008-01-07T15:23:00.000+08:00

omg. i juz had a nightmare, as in not those monsters, ghosts kind. my dreams are always based on reality. like abt ppl arnd me, sch, etc. usually recent happenings or events/ppl that have been on my mind. and the dream i juz had is really.. er.. like OMFG if it is to happen in reality. i would probably breakdown if it was to. i was so, so relieved when i opened my eyes. i guess my brain tot it was real cos i was still feeling sad and hurt even after i woke up. but i guess there's still a possibility of it happening...

haiz. i guess dreams are like a double-edged sword. i had dreams that i hope they will become real. dreams that im so sianz to wake up from. dreams i know aint gonna happen. things can nvr be so smooth for me. not being pessimistic but.. my life has been like this. hahaha. alright, juz being emo. but at least they allow me to have a taste of what is out of reach here.

o and i got a call from one of the companies i mailed ytd! woot. job, job, job. hahaha. going for interview tmr. hope i can get it.

if only dreams were to invade reality. if only there were no boundaries to reality's edge. then maybe... maybe...

2008-01-07T02:06:00.001+08:00

yay i adjusted my slping time alr. after one day of not slping, im finally able to slp arnd 2-3! i'm alr quite slpy now but i probably cant cos of another gastric attack. =\ had one arnd this time ytd too. sianz after a mth of lacuna in my gastric days. but i guess this one is mild compared to ytd's. haha. guess my no-appetite-ness is too much for my stomach to take. it helped me lose like a couple of kg la. lol. but at least it's getting better, from 0.5 meal a day to 2 meals now. almost normal.

o i juz emailed my resume to 4 companies! hope at least one get through. my $ is really like an all-time low alr. and the damn adult fare is not helping. but i wan to start work after i settle my army stuff. hope i get my enlistment date soon and it isnt too late. a little worried abt it. imagine it's too late for me to attend uni after im out. like omg. waste one yr for nth. no way im gonna have that.

it's like so.. friable. but anything, unconditionally.

2008-01-06T17:46:00.000+08:00

或许只是我固执的愚蠢未曾改变什么
或许一切早已记载我不是孙悟空
没有法力无边又如何改写生死簿?

A verse. let's see if i can develop this. haha. copyrighted!

it wasn't hell afterall. but probably because i haven't find the stairways to it yet.

2008-01-05T21:03:00.000+08:00

went to the zoo with the class today! i think it was ok la. juz that it would had been much better if it didnt rain. and if i had some slp the night before. the meeting time was early in the morning, which happen to be arnd my normal slping time. i tried to slp like 4 hrs before but apparently i failed. so i went to yet another class outing without slp again. -.-

i think i spent most of the time concentrating on keeping my mind awake that i didnt really show much interest in the animals. haha. i took like every chance to sit down la. and i guess i was much quieter than usual. hoped my listlessness didnt really affect the atmosphere or smth. on top of that i was kinda occupied with worrying abt some other stuff too.

er yea so it rained and it really restricted us, having a need to take shelter every now and then. o and i guess my overdose of caffeine caused some troubles too. haha. and there were snakes there! i mean duh but i'm really scared of snakes and i have no idea why. they give me the creeps, juz by looking at them. even the enclosed ones. =\

so our outing ended with most of us being quite tired and wet. so here i am trying my best to keep myself awake till 12, so that i can adjust my slping time. then i can go the next class outing with sufficent slp! if there is a next one to speak of, that is. haha.

Maybe, there was nothing buried to start with.

2008-01-05T03:06:00.000+08:00

Is it my obdurate refusal to accept fate?

spontaneous regeneration.

2008-01-04T00:42:00.000+08:00

Perhaps the pendulum clock is a portrayal.
An incessant falsity.
Or maybe it's like a rain gauge.
An accumulation where every drop counts.
It might just be a line between reverie and reality.
All these arcana.
Maybe time will validate. Maybe.

Let it befall upon me in exchange.

2008-01-03T04:19:00.000+08:00

I'm really sad.. My dear good friend, Mr 45 cents per mrt/bus ride just died a horrible death. On the day of new year! How tragic is that? Goodbye to those old, good days where i was able to not give a damn how many times i tap my ez-link card. hahaha. sianz lor. now travelling is like tripled the cost, when i got no source of income. great great. so now even the Land Transport Authority is mocking at my unemploment huh?! hahaha. actually it's my fault for being real faineant. not really putting much effort into looking for a job. and i don't really feel the pain cos i don't have the habit to read the digital nos when i tap my card. so i have no idea how much each ride cost now. lol. hey being ignorant is a bliss. :)

O tmr, or rather later of the day, is my specialist appointment! and i have a real big prob with it. I have to wake up at 12+, which is like quite a few hours b4 my usual timing. but that's not the pt. who cares if i'm gonna have lack of slp. the prob is, my appointment is paid by the govt and soooo if some unforseen circumstances occur and i accidentally overslp and wake up at my usual 5+ pm and miss the appointment, I will be imprisoned for a term not exceeding 3 years!

wahaha. i'm damn damn damn damn damn damn scared i can't wake up in time. and the prob is there is no1 at home at that time. -.- every1 got either work or sch. i'm considering not slping to personally make sure i will be awake at that time. lol! kidding la. actually i think i can wake up ba. i'm usually not much of a hvy slper. juz wanna emphasize on the severity of this and make every1 go like 'wahhhh!' er... right. i'm like crapping all the way. efforts to have a normal post k!

it might just be a sentence to hell.

2008-01-02T19:17:00.000+08:00

"It’s the fear,
Growing inside of me
There is no escape,
Because my fate is horror and doom.
I can no longer restrain it,
My strength it is fading.
I have to give in."

Within temptation - It's the fear lyrics

2008-01-01T16:39:00.000+08:00

那明亮乃借万火而取
希望是否也以似构成
它述说着迷惑的解脱
和连接上的绚丽未来

那美丽是以温馨为基础
却似乎因为悲伤而动人
起因为吾手之外的遥远
类似于那沉鱼落雁的秘密
但再明媚也永不及汝的美

2008-01-01T03:28:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year! Woot. spent my 3rd new year with the gang. haha. had dinner at azabu sabo. been a while since i ate there. main course wasn't that bad, but probably not worth that price. but what matters is they have an impressive array of dessert! think the choices are more than their entrees. and the taste is still as fabulous as ever! i think old, cunning chefs run the restaurant. cos ppl would end their meal with dessert! i mean duh but the meal would end in a bang and the satisfaction would probably be enough to cover any negativites from the already-digesting-entrees. sly foxes! wahaha. anws i felt quite bad cos i suggested the place and it was kinda X. =\

with a little extra load after the meal, we went back to swissotel the stamford! haha. feels kinda weird to be walking around the foyer and not dressed in the white vest and black pants. sat down at some sofas on the level which i supposed ain't for the public. but i guess everyone is too busy to care. but aiya, we are utilising unused resources! Highlight was probably pris getting in an ebullient mood and started singing and humming to herself. lol. damn funny. guess an excess of festival atmosphere ain't very brain-healthy. oh and it was gelid there la. zz. i think i'm falling sick. great. i can have a high start for 2008. yea. measured in celsius.

then, when it was nearly time, we headed towards esplanade to watch er.. what everyone else wants to watch. streets were just crawling with people la. fireworks merely lasted like 8 mins. really short-lived, but really breathtaking as well. was kinda touched by the beauty. haha. even though there were lots of people in the background and everything but it felt really quiet at that time. with only the crackling sounds of fireworks which somehow, i wasn't very comfortable with firing away. really inspiring. i will give it top three in terms of beauty in my heart for that! lol!!

getting back to the station was er.. breathtaking too. kinda takes all ur breath away. nearly died from squeezing and pushing. it's the time when alot of people will 'contact' you. haha. yea but we survived. -pat myself on the back-

yea this is how my 2007 ended. it wasn't exactly a wonderful year. spent half of it standing up and the other studying. -.- ok may all the unhappiness be left behind just as the rubbish on the streets now. which the news will surely report on the amount tmr. they do it every yr without fail. haha. and may happiness come for everyone i love er.. like how army is going to. so it will definitely be on its way cos army is. :(

alright may all wishes be heard, including mine. i made it when those shooting stars looked alike fireworks were being fired. hahaha.

muhahahahaha. i wrote a damn long and normal post! cos i'm kinda bored. blogging takes up quite abit of time eh. maybe i will start having more normal posts! for er.. myself to read. haha.

shadows of you overlapped with what i saw then.

2007-12-31T00:21:00.000+08:00

wahaha most of my posts are coated with a thick, thick layer of emo-ness! lol. juz random thoughts ba. i think i kinda like writing. anws 2007 is ending! cool. dun really feel the difference tho. haha. juz hope it's a better year, even with army. it's quite easy to triumph the kindness that 2007 had dealt me with.

a normal post for once!

2007-12-30T03:26:00.000+08:00

They told us we have to walk, to seek a way out of this undying darkness.
But are we all too blind to find our way?
Are we all too scared to put a foot across this sea of darkness, of uncertainity?
But there will be no more screams, no more pain, they say.
So we all walked.
Although some never started, because they did not believed in the story.
Some stopped, because they were all drained of energy.
And some bled, lying alone on this meadows, with no one to answer their call.
But those stories told, how wonderful it seems. I dreamt of it daily.
To get across, I held on to a rope tied to a galloping horse.
I couldn't get on. The horse kicked me off when I once attempted to.
Afraid, I could only hold on tight, staining the rope more and more red each day.
But deep inside I know, we will never get across. We will never survive.
Perhaps there was never light shining on the other side.
Yet I stared at it longingly every minute, every second.
I hoped and dreamt of this tiny flicker of flame, that has every potential to start a sea of crimson. To have light shone upon me eternally.
For this I bleed willingly.
Till the day this rope breaks.

2007-12-29T02:29:00.000+08:00

"Hope is for people who do not already live in grace."

and everything i ever had.

2007-12-28T04:54:00.001+08:00

Chapter 4

War. It really hurts. I'm slipping off. If I let go now... If I let go now...
I could feel tears dripping on me, with the sorrow in it seeping deep into my heart. It hurts. No pain is comparable to this. I can't bear to see you hurt, to leave you, my love. But the world is blurring out, and the barrel is getting empty, I can feel it. Time is running out for me, and for this soil my body will lie upon eternally. With my last ounce of strength, I grasped your hand. Don't cry. I said. We will never be apart. You nodded, blaming it on the sunlight, so bright that your eyes watered. Oh yes, the sunlight. I have to thank it. It's busy craving a path for me, or I would have to find my own way up there, a terrible thought to even bear.
War. I have to let go. They told me there will be no more pain if I do. I'm floating away.
Even so, we will never be apart. I know it. This casing is a mere restriction of our love. You said you would find me, no matter which corner of the world I am in. You're a master of hide-and-seek remember? And you told me there's a secret to winning it. There is something called destiny, which have a tiny thread of red silk bound to us, so that we will never separate. Relieved, I closed my eyes, allowing myself to float weightlessly. Follow the thread will you? I will be here, waiting...

2007-12-28T04:07:00.000+08:00

Chapter 3

War. I'm losing it.
The sunlight was bright, pricking my eyes, causing it to open from what seems like long, deep sleep. With my blurred vision, I could see your worried face, oh, that familiar, handsome one that I loved so deeply. But it was stained with tears, that shone so brightly under the sun. Oh no, why are you crying baby? A beautiful drawing would be spoilt with stains now, wouldn't it? But it was more than that. I saw the crack before the canvas broke when a sharp pain registered, right at my abdomen. It was as though my energy were being sapped away, like a barrel of water with a hole, losing its meaning of life as it can no longer serve its purpose. With great effort, I lifted my head slightly to find the source, only to see a sea of crimson spreading. It was like a tsunami, a representation of death. I understood immediately - there is no running away.

2007-12-27T03:37:00.000+08:00

I NEED A JOB! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! haiz. now i understand how it is to unemployed. no scoure of income! besides i can keep myself busy with one. plus every1 is gonna go in soon liao. =\

unsure of how to walk on.

2007-12-26T00:45:00.000+08:00

"Oh, this night is too long.
Have no strength to go on.
No more pain, I'm floating away.
Through the mist see the face
Of an angel, who calls my name.
I remember you're the reason I have to stay"

Within temptation - Pale lyrics

2007-12-25T01:56:00.000+08:00

Merry Xmas. damn i cant type exclamation mark. stupid keybaord. anws i think this year's xmas was quite fun. haha. thx to the gang. yea. spent last few yrs xmas with u all. i really cherish all of u. more outings pls. before i need to wear a cap when i go out.

perhaps it's time to. it will only do more DOT.

2007-12-23T22:03:00.000+08:00

to or not. storm of confusion.

smooth for once. pls.

2007-12-21T22:17:00.001+08:00

all i ever wanted.

we all dream. if only i could ever hold on to even the edge of the dreams in my dreams.

2007-12-21T02:44:00.001+08:00

wahaha it's quite fun writing cards. but so mentally taxing. so long since i wrote a full one. hope it turns up fine.

i wonder. if only. if only.

2007-12-20T02:04:00.000+08:00

really happy to see it lifted.

illusionary?

2007-12-19T02:11:00.000+08:00

没有出口的一道墙
我却依然张望着
唯恐夜深
惺忪的眼睛
堕落的心灵

2007-12-18T01:47:00.001+08:00

Hypocrisy, inconsideracy.
I have to deal with these everyday of my life.
Sometimes it really makes me wanna puke, looking at those masks they put on.
All these everyone's-best-interest talk. Your words would shiver and hide in embarrassment in the light of all your contradictory actions.
It's so clear that we can't co-exist,
that communication ceases to occur.
Yet, each day we survive by trying so hard to steer out of each other's way.
This is how we live, how i live.
I'm so sick, of this place I wouldn't want to call "home".

Note : Pls, don't give baseless criticisms unless u are sure of what my "home" really is.

I feel it too. If only that could help lessen it. Like they always say, if only its transferrable.

2007-12-17T01:06:00.000+08:00

"Storybook endings, fairy tales coming true
Deep down inside we want to believe they still do"

Carrie underwood - Ever ever after lyrics

2007-12-16T01:33:00.000+08:00

Addiction.

2007-12-14T23:11:00.000+08:00

When the night falls,
when the rain drops,
I would look out of my window and learn,
how beautiful things
are always out of reach.

Its bursting from racing so much.

2007-12-13T21:12:00.000+08:00

sinking even deeper.

2007-12-08T22:54:00.000+08:00

we are about the only race
harping on history and being
so concerned about memories.
mere captives of our own thoughts.

2007-12-07T23:37:00.000+08:00

who is to know,
the definite evolution of anything?
time is perpetual,
don't you see.

2007-12-06T17:11:00.000+08:00

Dreams are invading my space of reality.
I strive so hard to differentiate;
drawing lines repeatedly at reality's edge.
Yet, a part of me wants to put a foot across.
O, imagine, immersing in an abyss of possibilites,
floating weightlessly against gravity,
grabbing hold of impossibilities I can't bear to let go in reality.
It's beckoning to me.
I can't resist;
holding you close even when you said sorry,
a complete jigsaw puzzle without missing piecing,
a world without blood and heart shattering.

My soul is crossing boundaries,
leaving behind a mere sleeping casing.
I wonder if you would tear for me,
wonder if it even mean anything.
But it doesn't matter anymore,
I would have your arms around me,
on the other side.

2007-12-06T04:51:00.000+08:00

"It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me

I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this"

Kelly Clarkson - Addicted lyrics

2007-12-06T00:05:00.001+08:00

Woot. everything i wrote today is abt lies/deception and human nature. -.- haha. not refering to any event or anyone. just writing crap in my space and an idea as whole. got emo after listening to too many songs. humans generally aint very truthful yea; we are not exactly a wonderful race.

2007-12-05T23:31:00.000+08:00

Plastic surgery

It's like my lens are coated green
Like the world is shrouded in mist.
I can't seem to see anyone anymore.
Only how distant each one is.

It's like my hands are fenced in.
Like we are all in armor casing.
We all can't speak truthfully.
With all the communication technology.

It's like i can't pace with time.
Like the next moment i see a different thing.
No one ever remains the same.
The heart changes with each heartbeat.

I can't keep up with it.

We all lie and act each day.
A smile, a laugh to keep things going.
Fixed with a simple surgery,
I show what I want myself to be.

2007-12-05T17:51:00.000+08:00

这世界

这世界太神秘
大家都酷爱面具
从不知道
何谓心比心

这一秒
又有多少断去的约定

如果爱情是温暖
和笑容的象征
这空气又怎么
响着碎心的回音

这世界太龌龊
我们犯下的错误
这场雨又
怎么洗的去

每一滴
都深刻着我们的罪名

如果人类是群体
依赖的生物
那么这些血
又因谁而流

这世界太残酷
冠上神之名之者
身为创造者
又为何容许破碎?

2007-12-04T22:29:00.000+08:00

I am not as strong as I tot myself to be.
Cos it accumulates.. it really does hurt.

2007-12-01T00:22:00.000+08:00

Crossroads.
I took steps beyond a mere throbbing heart.
How bizzare it was, to be flooded by relief,
which didnt last to resist fear and anxiety.
Ah, the nature of Man.
We are mere beings attracted to familiars.
And that determines the end of this path.

2007-10-12T02:43:00.001+08:00

Chapter 2

But you never returned. I don't understand. O, the irony of life. Why does the creator allow destruction? Why do we live only to die, to love only to separate.
I have so much to say to you. I want to tell you that the cat at the void deck gave brith to a few kittens, that I been sacked, that... that... that my mother attempted to break us apart. We will never be apart. Oh, and I have yet to propose to you. I can almost imagine the look on your face when you see this ring. It's beauty is only second to yours.
Maybe you are lost. Lost in this complicated world of lust and greed. Or perhaps I'm blinded, blinded by the human eye. I will see you with my heart, since no light will shine on you. Even if you turned pale, or you have lost your shadow, I will still love you...

2007-10-12T02:18:00.000+08:00

Chapter 1

There was a red, crimson flower growing, spreading its petal mercilessly. It was exceptionally bright against the white background, as though sun rays at night. It would had been beautiful, if not for what it represented. But.. aren't some things beautiful because of their sorrowful nature? O, the tragic love stories, of heartbreaks and butterflies. But death? The panic as each drop of crimson drains your beauty. Doesn't red represent heat? So why is your hand getter colder as you get painted in red?
Don't cry, you told me, grasping my hand. We will never be apart.
I nodded; its the sunlight, so bright that my eyes watered. So bright that the shards of glasses protested with coloured rays. I remembered that you said rainbows bring miracles.
But you lied. If so I will be holding your hand now. We will be walking down the beach, kicking shells and pebbles, waiting for the sun to set. You said the most magnificent scene was the moment before it dies off. So will you rise again?
I've been waiting for your return. You said we will never be apart. When i find you, i will pretend to be angry with you for the long wait, only to turn around to embrace you. I will stroke the black, silky hair of yours, letting the fragrance fill my nostrils.
I will... I will... I will...